Love on Pause
by Anendee
Summary: Duo is the best operative in Preventers, or so peole seem to think. he also has a secret, he is set up to fall by a 'friend' and his secret is revealed. the guys dont react well to it. 23


Love on Pause

Author: Ashes Anime:Gundam Wing Rating: R maybe Warnings:swearing Pairings:2x3

Trowa: disclaimer my cat owns nothing, up to and including, her sanity (it's on loan from her little brother) me, Duo, our friends,  
and the authors and books and any music mentioned in this fic, the lyrics were taken from evanescence's song, Whisper. And as much as she would love to know Chad Kroeger she doesn't, and is using the name purely for entertainment purposes. Do not sue her, all you will get is a hair ball, a few cat toys and her college bills, nothing of worth.

AC 198

Any normal day at the Winner house in Chicago, where the new preventers base had been constructed almost a year ago, in honor of those who Died in the attack of September 11, 2001, before colony calendar, and in memory of those who sacrificed their lives for the future during the Gundam Wars, wouldn't be complete without a young man with gorgeous blue violet eyes and long chestnut hair done in a braid that came down to the top of his butt, dashing around to get everything together for the day, and today was no different.  
His boyfriend, Trowa, just rolled his eyes and smiled as he petted his charcoal colored cat, who purred contently in his lap. (can you guess who?)

The rest of the guys, especially Wufei, Duo's best friend in the world, would chuckle and continue with what ever it was they were doing. Usually Wufei would be reading some fantasy or action/mystery book. His favorite authors seemed to be Iris Johansen, Laurel K.  
Hamilton, J.R.R. Tolkien and Clive Cussler. That day he was reading book of lost tales by JRR Tolkien. Quatre usually had the days newspaper spread out in front of him, usually the comics disguised as the business section (grin). Heero would be typing away at his laptop, though no one really knows what it is he does with it.  
(probably never find out either, they all like living, thank you very much.)Trowa usually had a sketchbook with him, he had become an illustrator for children's book, or was trying to be one any way.  
The funny thing was that it wasn't that his work was awful it was that people had stuck him into the hero stereotype, just as they had the others, and found it hard to believe he could do something like that, and his work was beautiful, some of the best many will ever see, should it get used. Speaking of books, most people who know Duo know he wouldn't be caught dead with out his notebook. He is a world renowned songwriter. He had written songs of saliva, Nickelback,  
various movie soundtracks, Metallica, Theory of a dead man and Evanescence. Most of the songs he had written won awards and he himself had recorded a few, not that any one knew that last bit.  
Though this was all stuff that was hidden behind the full time preventers work.

Une, hoping to mix things up a bit and get the guys to learn teamwork with others then them selves, split them up into 2 groups. Duo,  
Trowa and Catherine, (yes, Tro's sister) a new recruit, and Wufei,  
the other group consisted of Heero, and Quatre. A little lopsided,  
true but Wufei was training Catherine and Une felt that to help balance the inexperience, there should be an extra Gundam pilot on the team. The entire thing was a fiasco. The only good thing about the operation was that after Duo had been captured, he retrieved a ton of information before the entire place blew to bits, courtesy of Trowa and Heero. The entire thing came about when Catherine didn't follow a simple order, it blew their cover and Duo was caught. Trowa wouldn't even look at her for a while, not until Duo was safe back at home. Lady Une learned the hard way there was just no mixing and matching with those boys. And believe you me, she tried on different occasions, the worst one just happened to be with Catherine. After that incident not many in the office would work with her, they all saw the entire mess as her fault and to be fair, Duo wasn't where he belonged either, but he was a Gundam pilot and she wasn't. It was just the way things were, like it or not.

Catherine had developed a deep seated hatred of Duo, who, she had loved like a brother, not that any one knew about the hatred, all they saw was her with Duo, who never held a grudge against her, and she treated him like a beloved little brother.

The only one who came even close to uncovering her ruse was Quatre,  
but lucky for her he never paid much attention to his feelings when she was around, for some oddball reason he felt it had something to do with the disastrous mission.

Another thing she resented more then much else was that fact that no matter where you went there was some sort of award for Duo, hell, he even beat out Heero in some things that Heero used to win hands down in, shooting, etc. she hated it, but she had a plan to get rid of him, out of her life and out of Trowa's.

Duo was ready to go home. He had had enough of the way people treated him for the day, you would almost think there was only one Gundam pilot who helped save earth, not five, the way some of these people carried on, and Duo resented it. All of them pulled together to make it possible and if any one deserved the lion's share of praise, it was Heero, hell, any one but him.

As he was about to leave the building he saw Catherine and his face split into a smile, until he saw she was limping. She spotted him and waved to him but determined to keep going. "Hey Cathy, you alright there?" she lost her balance as he called out his question. "hey, relax, I'll help if you want me to." He took a quick visual survey and found multiple bruises and cuts on her arms,  
legs and face. He began to worry. "Cathy, what happened to you?  
Who did this?" His protective instincts came into play.

I'm .. fine.. Duo. Leave me.. alone." She puffed out. On the inside she was thinking this couldn't really get any easier. Duo took her immediately to their place, it had always been the first place he would got to when he needed help, he also thought Trowa would be home to help his Sister.

As they approach, Rashid came out of the house, a worried look on his face, Duo beat him to a response, "don't worry, just make sure Trowa is here. This is Catherine, his sister, and it looks like she has been attacked. Go now."

"I'm sorry Master Duo, Mater Trowa isn't home right now. He received an urgent call and had to leave."

"That's fine, I'll take care of her, thanks Rashid."

Duo headed immediately to his and Trowa's room, he really didn't think about it, just went there. He looked Cathy over to make sure there was nothing seriously wrong with her, and to his knowledge there wasn't. He gave her a strange look. "Why don't you head to the hospital wing and I will catch up, I have to make a phone call, and I will be right behind you." Unfortunately, Duo didn't catch on as fast as he would have liked to. She heard the guys coming up the stairs and grabbed Duo by the collar and kissed...her? While she was pondering why every one thought Duo was male and she was kissing a girl, the four ex- pilots crowed into the room. She made it look convincing as she ran her hands down Duo's back, feeling the bindings she used for her breasts. Cathy also moaned as if this was what she wanted most in the world, which made Duo even more confused,  
unfortunately, yet again, she froze and wasn't doing anything to sway the opinion in the room, which had fast become, Duo and Cathy were lovers behind Trowa's back. Cathy let up only as the guys were out of earshot.

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"What do you think, Mr. or should I say Ms Perfect? What do you think they will do now? They will never trust you again what with you being a female and now they think you and I are an item, granted they don't know you are female, not even Trowa, I bet. I think I will go tell them." She cackled with glee over the thought of telling them.

"Do what you want bitch, what the hell have I ever done to you to deserve this, you are like family to me, answer me!"

"You were better then me at work, everything on that mission that went wrong, became my fault, not yours when you were the one in the wrong spot. Mine all because you wouldn't follow Trowa's order and I never got mine." Catherine spat out.

Catherine dashed out of the room, but not before ripping Duo's shirt and bindings in such a way that Duo really couldn't cover the fact that she was female. Duo headed down after her, hoping and praying that the guys would listen to her.

Before Duo could get to the library, Rashid, with a contemptuous look on his face decked Duo, sending her a few feet and slamming into the wall. "Master Quatre said the slut' isn't to be allowed any where near Master Trowa"

"Oh, Gods, Rashid, it's not how it looked, honestly. Do you really believe that I would do something like that to Trowa? He's my life"  
Duo was so close to tears that she almost didn't see the fist coming her way again. She took the opportunity to slip beneath Rashid and dash into the Library.

"Trowa, you have to believe me, it wasn't what it looked like." Duo panted.

"So, I didn't se my sister and my boyfriend, or is it girlfriend?" He bit out stingingly as he glared at the proof of her gender, "making out in our room of all places. I didn't hear my sister moaning and enjoying herself? Funny that's what it looked like to me." Trowa turned his back on Duo one by one the others did as well. Duo sent a pleading glance at Wufei, her best friend, but he too, turned away,  
the only difference between him and the rest was that his eyes held sadness in them.

"You had better leave here, before I call Rashid to finish what he started, on you, you slut." It couldn't have hurt more if Quatre had slapped her.

Heero turned around right then and slapped Duo, knocking her to the ground.

"Fine, I'll go" She rose painfully to her feet, and headed upstairs to her room to gather a few of her clothes and her stash of money.  
She put all of her original belongings in her old duffle bag. She left everything Trowa ever gave her, except the silver and emerald pendent and a silver cross, both of which she had forgotten about as she gathered her personal items. As she headed down the stairs and out the Front door the entire staff she passed glared at her, she just kept her gaze down as she left. No one could find her that night, not that they tried...

The next morning, over an hour late, a very disheveled Duo, with bags under her eyes and an alien expression across her face marched down the room to Une's office. They were in there over an hour before Duo came out again, with Une close at her heels. "You cant leave! You are the best there is! The world needs you to be here!"

"No, the world needs understanding, and the other four to fight for it, I have don't nothing but screw up everything, and there is something else I can do that might make the world a better place"  
With her head held high, Duo met the glares of everyone in the room,  
up to and including her ex boyfriend and her ex friends and the triumphant smirk of Catherine. Wufei caught her arm on her way out,  
hoping to give her some encouragement. "don't, you wouldn't want them to think you are fucking me as well, would you?" She said in a harsh tone that made the entire room, minus Catherine wince. On the inside she was just barely holding everything together on the outside she looked as cool as silk.

She exited the building and headed to the spaceport. She had some unfinished business to attend to...

Catherine resigned the next day, when Une told everyone that officially, Duo Maxwell no longer worked there. She glared at the boys and Catherine. Catherine couldn't help it, she laughed out loud at the stupidity of the guys, and told them so. "Gods, you and her made it so damned easy, and all she ever did was care for you"  
Catherine walked out and was literally never heard from again, her only picture, not destroyed in a house fire was on record at he missing persons office.

The guys found out the whole truth, almost a year later. Heero used his laptop and Quatre used his money, Wufei and Trowa were the confertation guys, and who better then the repentant boyfriend and a saddened best friend, both so riddled by guilt that it almost seemed impossible to feel anything else, to work info out of unwilling informants.

Heero, Quatre and Rashid were nursing guilt of their own. They never gave her a chance to explain. They believed the worst with out her words on the matter. How can any one make that up to her, plus the physical attacks aimed at her, Rashid and Heero hadn't been gentle when they struck her.

The guys finally figured out why Catherine hated Duo and how she set up the entire thing, and no one really knew the entire story,  
except her diary, which conveniently enough, burned along with all her stuff in a house fire, and did I mention she had disappeared and no one has heard from her in almost two years? (gee, don't you just wonder why: Ashes)

For three long years after Duo initially vanished, the guys search for her. They had gone through severe Duo withdrawal. She had penetrated every hardened heart she came across, almost no one could not love her after being with her for all of 10 seconds. Trowa had taken to listening to the radio, listening for the songs Duo had written. One he found about tore his heart out. The song, Always by Saliva hit the rest of them as well. That song won a Grammy for best new song of AC 199. there were many more that hit them the same way,  
How You Remind Me by Nickelback was one of the harshest ones. In AC 200 an album by a group called the All-American Rejects hit the stories. The entire thing had been written by Her. And Your Star had Trowa in tears. The music world mourned the loss of its premiere writer when Duo Maxwell retired for good in Ac 200. No one knew why.  
The bands only knew that he had sent a letter to all of them, telling them that he had enjoyed working with them and that they wouldn't need him anymore. He had also sent in a few last songs for them all,  
and that was it, no address nothing. Duo had said that if they needed help, Duo would contact them. Nickelback's lead singer Chad had been very informative, just not with the info they needed. The guys thought it was interesting that Duo told no one else that she was female, and it made the search harder, do they search for a female or a male?

A year after that, they received an anonymous tip from some one in the preventers, at least all the clues pointed that way. A one word message: orphanage.

They started on L2, but failed there. Wufei worked really late into the night, about four years after Duo left. He couldn't erase the betrayed look on her face as she left the house that night. He tried a simple google search of two words: Maxwell Orphanage. He came up with information on Duo's past but nothing current. He saw some thing that caught his eye, a rock site with a link to an orphanage.  
He decided to check it out, the site had a year old article about the song writer and a piece of info no one else had, a link to a site created by the songwriter that was created about a month ago. Wufei clicked on it and was rushed to a site entitled The Gateway.

The Gateway was an orphanage that had just opened, and though they didn't have any children there yet, the site would be used to let people know about children who will eventually be there. Right now the site gave off the rules and a warning that there will be an intense background check on all those who want to adopt a child from Gateway. The Owner/operator Ashlee Oconnor, can be contacted at this number or this email.

Something about the name tickeled Wufei's memory.

flashback Just before the break up of the group.

" hope to have several children one day, I know I will call one of my girls Ashlee, spelled ee. Ashlee Serenity. This is kinda stupid of me isn't it? Dreaming about kids and naming them..." Duo had seemed so happy that Wufei didn't say anything.

End flashback

And then Catherine, the bitch, ruined Duo. And we helped her do it,  
he thought. That pulled him into action. He traced the address of the place, got all the info he could on it, yet very little pointed toward Duo. The one thing Wufei prided himself on was his instincs,  
and his were telling him, when he saw the email AshleeSerenityOconnorG... that he had found Duo, even if that was the only real clue he had.

Wufei roused Trowa first and sent him to wake the others, they had a flight to catch. The others grumbled at being forced awake at the ungodly hour of...3:30 AM! They quickly shut up and sped up the process when they found out why. Heero even almost drew his gun to speed things up at the airport. By 5 AM they were in the air headed for the Pacific...

They landed at the Honalulu Air Port at 11 am, Hawaii time. It took until almost 3 o'clock to arrange a ride and arrive at the island of Kauai, the outer most island in the Hawaii strand. They booked rooms at the Bamboo Jungle House (the House is real, I did a tiny bit of research for a real place on that island: Ashes)and it was almost four o'clock before they started the search for Gateway.

They found it, on a private stretch of beach, with a little cottage and a larger house under construction. They knocked on the door and didn't get an answer. Heero picked the lock, and it took him a bit,  
and they entered the cottage. All over were pictures of the five of them, some single shots of Trowa and the rest, but what they found interesting and disturbing, were the photos of a couple of children,  
two girls, but no significant other seemed to be pictured. They heard the sweet sound of children's laughter followed by a melodic voice they new well, also laughing. They followed the sounds to the edge of the water where two little girls chased a young woman in jean shorts and a green tank top. Her hair was chin length and the same rich chestnut brown it had always been. The lady pulled them out of the water and sets them down on her lap, she started humming a song and the two start to sing

catch me as i fall say you're here and it's all over now speaking to the atmosphere no one's here and i fall into myself this truth drives me into madness i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away

The older child spotted the group first. "Ashwee-momma? Who are they?" The little one told the woman called Ashlee where they were. "girls, I want you to get on the porch and stay there. If I find out you left there and came back down here, you will never believe the punishment, ok" her stern look faded as she whispered to the two girls who squealed and took off for the porch

"Well, are you guys gonna come out of the shadows any time soon?"

The guys spot a little girl leaning over the railing, hoping to hear better. The older one grabbed the baby's hand and they headed for the group. "Ashwee-moma, you never did answer us"  
"didn't I tell you to stay on the porch, oh well, I guess that means no icecream tonight." A smile tugged at Ashlee's mouth.

"You haven't told us yet, Ashwee-momma." The older one was persistent.

"They are Trowa Barton, Wufei Change, Quatre Rebarba Winner, and Heero Yuy." She still hadn't turned to face them. If she had them figured right, and she bitterly acknowledged she hadn't in the past,  
she figured they would be in shock of her knowing who they were, with out looking at them. They were in for more of a shock, the older one approached them, bold as sunlight, her face lit up when she found out who they were. "hewwo, I am happy to meet you. Ashwee-momma has told us about you." She was a bundle of happiness.

Quatre, the most likely to interact with children due to his 29 older sisters, had only a little experience with them, hunkered down into a squat so he was eye level with child. "and what is your name, young lady and how old are you?" Quatre asked in a gentle, kind voice.

"I am 3 and my name is Helen Quatre Trowa Maxwell and I am a big sister." She stated proudly. Trowa and Quatre's gazes flew to Ashlee's, as Quatre's rear end met with the sand. Her back was still to them.

Trowa, this time, kneeled in front of the child and askes her about her little sister. Before Helen could answer, Duo sent her up to the cottage to get her sister's blanket. The little one speeds off,  
excited to help.

Trowa stated the obvious, "she's a beautiful child, a real heartbreaker when she grows up-" Trowa was interrupted as Duo turned around, they caught their fist sight of the baby. Trowa's breath caught in his lungs, she was gorgeous. "what is her name?"

"Meiran Heero Wufei Maxwell, Mei."

"Maxwell, I am honored, that you would name your child that, even after all we had done to you, thank you." Wufei bowed formally.

"Would you like to come in and stay for dinner?" Duo fianally asked after a long silence.

"What about your Husband?"

She explains there's never been a Husband, after she left she got lonely 'cause she was used to living with 4 guys, so she went to an orphanage and adopted Helen when she was a baby and the same with Meiran whose mother died in childbirth... While they talk Helen crawled into Duo's lap and fell asleep, they saw she's a wonderful mother. Then Meiran started to cry, Duo got up to go to her while the others talk about how she's changed and how wonderful a mother she is and the changes stuck out the most, both physical and mental...

That night the baby woke up again and Duo fed and changed her,  
then sat in a rocking chair sang her back to sleep while Trowa watched, unnoticed. When Mei finally fell asleep she put her to bed and stood in front of the window, facing the ocean and moonlight and cried. Trowa couldn't help himself, he went to her and drew her into his arms, never wanting to let her go again...

The morning after: Helen has to wake up her momma, who takes her and Meiran downstairs... The rest of the gang is still sleeping...

It seems Duo and her daughters have a morning ritual and that's putting on some music and start dancing. They could be found in the gardens on a gorgeuous morning like that one, other wise they would be in the living room, and of course still in their pj's as they dance and jam to the music in the morning.

The guys woke up to the sound of laughter and music they haven't heard in 4 years and look outside to see Duo and her daughters singing and dancing. Trowa woke up to an empty bed and knew she had left some time before the girls woke up. The wistful look on Trowa's face made it a fact that he wanted to join them and be part of that family. They all head downstairs to where Duo and Helen are making breakfast for everyone.

Heero made a crack about Duo's cooking, she grinned and told them that was all they were getting out here. "momma's cooking is bad,  
isn't it girls." The girls nodded, grinning as well. The music continued to play and Helen and Duo kept bumping bums as they danced around every one and put out breakfast.

She sent the girls out to play with the neighboring kids and turned a piercing glare on all of them as soon as the kids were out the door.

"Why are you here, now?" She demanded to know.

"because we were wrong, and we want you to come home." Quatre replied.

"And it doesn't matter that I have a life with out you now? The fact that you all turned your backs on me, didn't believe and attacked me shouldn't matter now that you want me home? Do you have any clue how hard that was for me? If I hadn't decided to adopt Helen, I might not be here in any way, shape or form, except maybe a ghost to haunt you!" Dou hadn't realized that tears were coursing down her cheeks until Trowa wiped them away.

"Please, sweetling, don't cry. Every tear is a knife to my heart, I was so lost with out you. And I am so beyond sorry for what we all did, especially me. I didn't even give you the chance to defend yourself, and I was so mad that you never once in over a year that we had been together, told me you were a woman, it hurt me that you didn't trust me. I never want to go through that again, not being able to tell you how sorry I was, to not tell you how much I love you. Catherine set out to destroy you after the incident at work,  
and It took us almost a year to figure out how. We always knew which songs were your on the radio, they would consume us in guilt for our actions. Mr. Kroeger tried to help us out, when you quit writing,  
but it just wasn't enough." Trowa Gathered the sobbing Duo in his arms and tenderly kissed her as he had the night before.

"Do you have idea how dark it was in my life after that? I was consumed by darkness and I only had two lights, you and children.  
You guys became an extinguished torch after that. I only had children. My songs helped but not as much as they ever used to."

"We can stay here if you want. We can see what it is you are doing and we want to help. I want to be there for you as I hadn't been before, because I love you too much to let you go." Trowa held her even tighter.

"Gods, how much I love you and missed you!"

A little head of red gold curls popped up one one side of the door way, "Ashwee-mamma, does this mean we can call you momma now?" Duo laughed and hugged the child, "yes, you can call me momma now.  
Sweetheart, I want you to meet your new daddy, that is, if he wants to be?" she glanced up at Duo at Trowa. All he could was smile and nod. "sweety, meet Daddy, daddy meet Helen. Now we have Uncle Wufei, and Uncle Quatre and Uncle Heero." She did the same with the baby...

The guys never did go back to Chicago, much to Lady Une's dismay, and the work of Quatre's servants, particularly when they tried to put the cat, Ashes into a crate. With the girls' help and the children of the Orphanage, Trowa became a world renown illustrator of children's books, while Heero wrote them. Quatre moved his business base to Hawaii and Wufei became head of the Hawaii division of the preventers. When asked why, he replied, "So I can protect my family,  
and be close to home. Lady Une even spent a vacation/evaluation of the new offices there, she wanted to adopt this adorable red head named Mariamaia, she was told no until they had proof of her reduced hours with the Preventers. Catherine was never found.

Trowa and Duo had three more of their own, Ashlee Serenity, Rinoa Lillie Colleen (Colleen to family and Friends) and the baby Jordan Connor. And the cat, Ashes, stayed with them as well.

Ashes: Well I hope you liked it.

Trowa glares at Ashes: You cant seem to write a happy all the way through story, can you?

Ashes: don't you think I've tried? I hate not being able to write anything other then angst, though some of those came out rather well,  
don't you think?

Trowa: I would still prefer a funny story or a romantic one. So would Duo, he's tired of you torturing him, you turned him into a girl, for crying out loud!

Duo: I don't suppose you have more to write, do you Ashes?

Ashes: I do but I hope this one will turn out better for you, the whole way through, more babies and everything.

Duo, all excited: Cool, as long as it doesn't get too angsty.

Ashes: hey, now, remember the last fic before this one was worse, so be thankful for the little things. Well we got to go. Feedback is like food, required to keep the mind going, so please drop me a line,  
or a sinker, or anything at trowaskittycatsilver23y... 


End file.
